Healing Scars
by Milady29
Summary: Burgess is starting in the intellegence unit as she comes back to work after being shot. She has Adam and the job she has always wished for, but the memories and the scars of being shot keep haunting her and it is gets in the way of her relationship and her job. Can she heal herself and get comfort and help fast enough before it all falls apart?
1. Chapter 1

**My newest Chicago PD story! About Burgess this time with a focus on Burzek too. I really hope you will like it and if you like this first chapter, please do leave a review so I know you are interested in this story! Please do and I hope you enjoy the read.**

Standing by the window in the kitchen, she was making sandwiches for her and Adam, so they could have breakfast before going to work. Today would be her first day back to work…and honestly she was not looking forward to it at all. She had bene so excited about starting in intelligence, but she was scared and she didn't even know about what. One of the strains of brown hair fell in front of her eyes and she wiped it behind her ear, the palm of her hand caressing over the rough line of skin on her cheek.

Looking back at the sandwiches, she tried not to think about the scar in her face. She hated it. It was not just a scar, it was also there for everybody to see, everybody who looked at her saw it and it would be an eternal souvenir to being shot.

She heard some kids laughing and singing and she looked out of the window, a group of kids walking on the street below her, with their back packs and she knew that they were going to school. They were living their lives and she was going back to hers.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around her middle and kissed her in her neck and Adam's lips went up to behind her ear, kissed her there, over her jaw to her mouth.

''Good morning, sunshine.'' He whispered then and she laughed, turning around and kissing him. His hand suddenly reached out and she was scared he was going to touch the scar, but instead his hand went to the hair that was in her face again and put it behind her ear.

''You look good, excited about getting back to work?'' He asked and she nodded.

''Yeah, I missed it. '' She said, letting go of a nervous smile and he hugged her.

''It will all be fine, you are going to do great in intelligence. Antonio will be your partner and be your mentor for the first time, it will all be fine.'' Adam said and they kissed another time. After having breakfast together, they went to the office.

''Kimmers. I heard you are mine now.'' Antonio said as he laid his hand on her shoulders for a second and she looked back.

''Can I still leave?'' She joked, pulling one eyebrow up.

''Well, I was a pretty good mentor to Ruzek, so I think you will survive.'' Antonio said and Voight came walking from the office.

'They found a boy this morning in the park, seventeen year old, got homicide on it, but we are given the case now.''

''Are we going to see the crime scene?'' Ruzek asked.

''They are cleaned it.'' Voight said, shaking his head.

''Hopefully they made pictures.'' Halstead said, rolling his eyes and Voight nodded.

''They did. The victim is Jeremy Furler. His parents still have to be informed. Antonio and Burgess, I trust you to be on that.'' Voight said and he walked back into his office as he was grabbing the other papers.

Antonio walked to Voight's office and walked in.

''Are you sure we should go tell them? It is only her first day back.''

''She works in intelligence, she has to get used to it. '' Voight said, looking at Burgess, leaning against the desk and with her sleeves now moved up and he looked at the large, rough scar that was still on her arm and Kim looked up, caught him looking and pulled her sleeve down again, looking at the desk.

''Are you ready to go?'' Antonio asked and she nodded and walked after him. They sat down in the car and an awkward silence filled the car and Antonio stopped at a coffee bar, came walking back with two cups, hoping this would break the ice between them. Burgess seemed to be so…off.

He put them in the car and she looked at him and he looked at the scar and she turned her eyes away, almost embarrassed.

''It healed well.'' Antonio said as they drove to the house. She looked out of the window, not feeling the same as he did but smiled then. He meant it nice.

''Thanks.''

''Oh, by the way, that cup of coffee is yours, if you want it.'' He said then and she took the cup.

''Thanks again.''

''Tomorrow you are buying the coffee…it was just because it is your first day here.'' He said with a teasing smile as he parked the car and they walked to the door. What would the woman think when she opened the door? Would she think that something was wrong with her son or that the police woman in front of her was hideous. The door opened and before she could even say anything, Antonio started to talk, not wanting her to have to bring the bed news and Kim just stood there. Who knew, maybe, if she had been standing and inch to the left, she had been hit right onto the throat when she was shot…and they had been standing by Adam's door like this….she was sure Platt knew about them.

''Kim.'' She suddenly heard Antonio say and she looked up at the parents.

''I am very sorry for your loss.'' She said then, a little absent.

She finished the day, trying to keep her mind on work, but something felt off and she felt almost guilty, because this is what she really wanted. This is what she had always wanted and now it all didn't seem to matter because something was wrong. She didn't want to be bothered by the scars and she didn't know why they bothered her so much. Something just felt off in everything and it made her sad.

That night, she laid in bed with Adam and tried to fall asleep, she tried to feel better but sleep didn't seem to come. Finally, at four in the morning she closed her weary eyes and fell asleep.

_As every day, Kim walked through the aisle of the plane. The Virgin flight had just taken off and she was looking around if everything was okay, if anybody needed anything when the little girl she was standing beside suddenly pulled her sleeve and Kim looked down. _

_''__Can I help you?'' She asked friendly. _

_''__What is on your face?'' The kid asked then and Kim knew she shouldn't stop smiling as a flight attendant._

_''__How do you mean?'' She asked polite._

_''__There is something on your face.'' The girl said and Kim brought her hand to her face. _

_''__it is on your arm too.'' The girl said then, Kim looking down at her arm. As it was summer season on Virgin, she was wearing the short sleeved uniform and surprised she looked at the severely scarred inside of her upper arm. Confused she ran to the lavatory, looking in the mirror, looking at the scar in her face with a frown. She touched it carefully and then saw the horribly scaring on her arm and panicking, she pulled the scarf from her uniform of her neck, finding even more scars in her neck. _

Sweating, she woke up and sat up in bed, Adam remaining asleep and she climbed out of bed, walked to the bathroom and looked in the mirror again. The red line was there, in her face, another smaller one under it and she hated them. She looked back at Adam, still asleep in the bed and she wondered how he could still think she was pretty, these scars were hideous and they would not go away anymore. What if he thought she was ugly? Slowly she sat down on the floor, hid her face in her hands and started to sob.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Burgess is back at work and is struggling a lot because of what happened and with the scars and is afraid that Adam doesn't think she is pretty anymore and doesn't even know what to think about herself but what does this fear come from and is she going to be okay?<p>

Thank you so much from reading the first chapter and I really hope you liked it! I hope you want to see more of this story and hopefully until the next chapter. Please do leave a review with what you think and I hope you thought this was good.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, thank you so much for all the response on the first chapter! It means so much to me and I am so glad that you like the story and are interested in it. I hope you will enjoy the second chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it and reviews keep me motivated to keep writing a story! Enjoy the read!**

**The next evening**

''Where are we going?'' Burgess asked as they walked somewhere, Adam holding his hands in front of her eyes and she had her hands out, scared to walk up against anything but then he suddenly pulled his hands away and she looked surprised as they were at that fancy sushi bar they always drove past when they were going to his apartment.

''What are we doing here?'' She asked.

''I am taking you out for dinner.'' He said, taking her hand.

''And what did I do to earn this?'' She asked, smiling. He was looking at her, a smile that only said he loved her and she smiled back. He was just so sweet….also for staying with her…now she was looking like this.

''because you started working in intelligence…it is a big promotion and I know it is important to you so I want to celebrate it with you over dinner.''

She smiled, grateful and kissed him. He was so sweet, for this and for staying by her side during the recovery.

''Come on, we will go inside.'' He said as he laid his arm around her and they walked inside. She had been telling him all the time that that restaurant seemed so good but had thought it was too fancy…and now they were here.

''You shouldn't have…'' She said, almost feeling bad because she knew it was very expensive, but he was smiling at her.

''But I want to take you here…after all, you are my girl.'' He said, kissing her on her cheek and she smiled. Inside, he took her jacket and they were brought to a table for two persons.

''I want the best bottle of red wine you have.'' Ruzek said then as the waiter came to take their drinks and Kim smirked.

''Really, only because I got shot….because that is how you get in another unit.''

''Yes, only because you got shot…and also a little bit because I love you and I know you love good red wine, too.'' He said then as he caressed her hand on the table. She smiled at him.

''I wish you had told me though, I would have dressed up a little bit more.''

''You look perfect the way you are.'' He said.

She wanted to make a remark about the scars not making her look perfect but then a giant plate with sushi was put in front of them.

Carefully she picked one up with her chopsticks and it slipped and landed on the table. Adam laughed and took a piece between his chopsticks and brought it to her mouth. With a smile she took it from the between the chopsticks in her mouth and smiled at him.

''Thank you.''

Then her eye suddenly fell on a woman that was looking at them from another table and she looked back at the woman, whom suddenly looked away.

''What is wrong?''

''I…nothing.'' She said and she tried to enjoy the sushi again, but wished she had put a scarf on so a few of the scars would be hidden…

Later that evening they walked into the apartment, Adam almost tripping over his own feet as he enjoyed the wine really well and he walked to the bathroom while she walked to the bedroom. Standing in front of the mirror she knew that the hardest part of the evening still had to come.

As she was getting undressed and pulled the shirt over her head, saw the big scars on her shoulder and on her arm and even the one that was right under where the bullet proof vest hadn't been to stop it.

Turning her arm inside out, she touched the line of skin that was on there, almost looking like a range of mountains, rough scar tissue and she closed her eyes, wish it was gone when she opened her eyes.

Then, she felt hands on her shoulders and Ruzek kissing her in her neck and she wanted to pull away, but his hands slipped down her shoulders as he kept kissing her neck, right on the scar and she wanted to pull away again. He unhooked her bra, it falling to the floor and she tried to enjoy their intimacy, but she couldn't.

She felt bare, naked and he could see and touch all her scars.

''You are under arrest…'' He whispered then and she smirked.

''For what?'' She whispered

''For being a very pretty lady that I love so so much that you stole my heart….and stealing is a crime.'' He whispered, burying him face in her neck again and kissing her and finally she had the gut to turn around and face him. She knew that all the scars were visible now and she waited for his response.

But he just kept looking at her, like nothing was wrong. Didn't the scars bother him? They had to! They were hideous…she felt like she was. Almost uncomfortable she gave over to his hugs and kisses and they shared a long and tender kiss...and another one and she kitted him in his neck.

Then his hand caressed the severe scars on her arms and she tried to stay in his embrace, but then she pulled away about a minute later.

''What is wrong...if you don't want this…just say no.'' He said, almost a little hurt and he wanted to kiss her again, laid his hand on her cheek, over the scar. She got tears in her eyes and concerned he looked at her.

''What did I do wrong? Did I hurt you?'' He asked concerned.

''Don't.'' She just said, pulling away from his hands. He looked at her, wondering what he did wrong but then he walked to bed and laid down. Obviously he did something wrong and he felt bad, for whatever he did wrong.

Kim laid down beside him but he didn't dare to put his arms around her and she turned away from him, listening as he fell asleep, snoring softly and she started to cry, softly so she wouldn't wake him up.

She wanted to hold him, to love him and spend the night together…like really together, but she couldn't. She couldn't because every time he touched her, she was scared he would pull away his hands in disgust. Slowly she climbed out of bed, stepping on the cold floor again and walked to the mirror and looked at the scars in the mirror, staring at them and wishing that they would just go away. Slowly the tears streamed down her cheeks again and she looked as they rolled over the scar that was there and she thought back about the years she had worked as a flight attendant. A lot of it had depended on her looks. Now she had a job she had wished for so long….and she didn't need to be pretty anymore…and she didn't feel pretty anymore. Slowly she looked back at the bedroom where Adam was still asleep in the bed. She couldn't imagine that he still thought she was pretty.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Burgess got a dinner from Ruzek as a surprise that she moved to intelligence and just because he loves her but as much as she tried to enjoy it, she couldn't and when getting home, things got even more rough when they arrived at home and she had to get undressed and he wanted to get intimate, but it was too much for her because she was touching his scars…but she cant tell him what is wrong and he is scared her hurt her…but Kim is struggling with a lot more than he can imagine!<p>

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first chapter. Wow, the response on the first chapter was so overwhelming I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow, thank you so much for all the response on the first chapter! It means so much to me and I am so glad that you like the story and are interested in it. I hope you will enjoy the Third chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. Enjoy the read!**

**The next morning**

Slowly she walked to the district, her hands in her pockets. This morning she had had her last appointment with her doctor, as a last check up and she felt bummed, because it felt like this was going to be the way it was.

Some people were looking at her, at her neck and her face and she just wanted to hide. She knew that former her, was strong enough that she would have asked what was the problem, confront them with the fact they were staring at the scars, but right now she didn't feel strong enough. She was tired, so tired. Most of the night she had been spending in the bathroom again after ruining the night for her and Ruzek. He had been so sweet for taking her out and she had been scared of his rejection because of all the scars. She still felt like he was bothered by it but did not want to admit it, but she didn't dare to talk about it, even more worried about rejection. Walking into the district, some people were looking at her. She didn't like it looked at them because it made her insecure and small.

She greeted Platt and walked up the stairs and was ready to tell Ruzek that the doctor had told her she was fine now, she also wished he had not said that, because he had said that she was okay, it did mean that it wouldn't get better, that she wouldn't get better. The scars would not go away and that was something that she had known, that the scars would not go away, but now it was sure and it hurt her. It made her scared for her future and scared that Adam would realize that her scars would not get better and she would look like this forever.

Looking as Roman walked past her, looking at her, not knowing what to say.

''Hey, how are you doing?'' She said then, walking towards him. They had never gotten very close but she was kind of sad to leave him because they had never talked about what had happened to her. She did blame him, because he should have had her back. He was just flat out ignoring her now and it annoyed her, it made her so angry because she was stuck with these scars and he was her partner, he should have had her beck and beside a card in the hospital, she hadn't heard anything from him.

''Fine.'' He said, casting his eyes from her and passing her without saying anything else.

Upset, Burgess walked to the bathroom, standing in one of the stalls as she felt tears filling her eyes. Sitting down on the toilet with the lit down, she sobbed. She was so angry of him. It was not like he could have saved her, but he still should have had her back instead of fighting with his ex.

Trudy Platt walked into the bathroom, surprised as somebody was crying. After going to the bathroom and washing her hands, she listened and realized that cry sounded very familiar.

''Burgess?'' Platt said then, by the door. Kim tried to be quiet but Platt's shoes didn't move outside she slowly left the stall.

''What is wrong?'' Platt asked and Kim shook her head.

''Nothing.''

''You were crying.'' Platt said.

''It was nothing.'' Kim said, washing her hands by the sinks and walking out of the bathrooms before Platt could ask anything else. Walking back onto the hallway, she let out a deep sigh and wanted to walk upstairs to the intelligence unit again, when she suddenly realized she had been wrong earlier. Roman could walk away all he wanted, but maybe it would make her feel better when she let it out. She walked around, suddenly she was him close to the intelligence unit.

''Roman!'' She yelled but he kept on walking and she grabbed his shoulder.

''I have to deal with these marks on my face and body for the rest of my life because you didn't have my back.'' Kim said angry, grabbing his arm as he was walking and he looked at her.

''You didn't have my back and you were my partner! You were too busy fighting with you ex. I know it is not your fault that the buzzer was rigged but you can at least look me in the eyes and tell me you are sorry because you should have had my back!'' She yelled then, angry and Roman looked at her.

''Sorry.'' He said then, looking down.

''I said you have to look me in the eye while saying it. Or are my scars bothering you?'' She yelled angry and some of the other officers looked at them. Suddenly somebody took her by her arm and dragged her away and she wanted to hit the person away, when she saw it was Adam.

''Let me go!'' She yelled angry as he took her to an interrogation room.

''Calm down!'' He said then as they went inside and he closed the door. She sat down on a chair, looking at the ground and suddenly her face got raised again by Adam, whom had his hand under her chin and she carefully smiled at him then.

He gave her a kiss and looked at her,

''Are you really okay, because I am worried about you. What did the doctor say?''

''I am okay.'' She lied and gave him a small smile. ''The doctor said that too.

He smiled and he nodded, although he was still worried about her. His hand caressed her scarred cheek and she tried not the cringe but he put the hair behind her ear and kissed her on her forehead as he got up.

''If there is anything, please talk to me. I will see you in the office when you feel up for it again.'' He said and she nodded, looking as he walked out.

Turning a little, she looked in the mirror, that was there in the interrogation room, looking at herself again and wondering if she should tell Adam that she was so bothered by the markings in her skin, the markings of when she was shot, but somewhere she was too scared that they bothered him too and that he would admit it then and maybe even leave her. Walking closer to the mirror, she touched the scar in her neck…it had to bother him. He could get a much prettier girl.

Looking into her own eyes, she still saw that they were red from crying and she was almost scared that this sadness would never go away and that in the end, she would never be the pretty girl again she once was.

Maybe it had been better if she hadn't made it.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Burgess got cleared by the doctor whom made sure she is all fine now, but she is so scared because she knows that the scars will not go away and that Adam will leave her, which also came out at the end when they talked. She confronted Roman about her anger that he did not have her back, but that ended with her crying in the bathroom stall. Platt heard her and is very suspicious now but Burgess is in a dark place and can she open up to somebody in time before it is too late?<p>

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first two chapters. Wow, the response on the first chapter was so overwhelming I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Wow, thank you so much for all the response on the third chapter! It means so much to me and I am so glad that you like the story and are interested in it. I hope you will enjoy the fourth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. Enjoy the read!**

**The next day**

Kim was ready to leave the office with Adam as they were done for today, but before she could walk out, Trudy Platt called her over.

'''Burgess, come here for a second.'' She yelled and Kim looked at Adam.

''I will wait by the car.'' He said, letting go of her hand and she walked to Platt.

''What is it?'' She asked, looking at Platt, whom bow forward then, speaking softly.

''I just want to tell you, that if you need to talk to somebody about what happened, you can always ask for help. We can arrange somebody to talk with you, you just need to say. It is not easy being shot and it can take a while to get over it, so if you need anybody to talk to…just tell me…or talk to me.'' Platt said.

''I am fine, thanks for offering.'' Kim said then and she walked to the car. As she sat down in the passenger seat, Adam kissed her and she blushed.

''Do you still want to cook tonight?'' Adam said then and she shrugged.

''Not really, but we have to eat so I bet I have to cook.'' She said then.

''We could also go to that pizzeria down the block to have dinner there…I don't want you to have to cook when you don't want to because I don't want to cook either.'' He said and she smiled.

''That sounds really great.'' She smiled then and at home they both changed. She changed to her favorite dress, but changed then as the scar was visible on her upper arm in the dress.

''I love that dress.''

''I know, but I might want to wear it to Antonio's birthday Saturday.'' She lied and he nodded. She got dressed in a top with a jacket and jeans and walked to the bathroom then, grabbing the concealer and putting some over the scar on her cheek. Maybe it would finally get a little less visible. Rubbing more and more she tried to cover it all but the red was still a little visible under all the makeup. She really wanted them to be gone so she could have dinner without having to think about the scars and if people were looking at her. She really didn't want to get all paranoid again because she wanted to enjoy the dinner with Adam. She didn't want to ruin it again.

They left and went to the pizzeria and he kept looking at her cheek and she kept wondering why. Why did he keep looking? Was the makeup not covering?

They got seated in the restaurant a little later.

''I think I will have pizza with mushrooms and cheese.'' She smiled then and he nodded.

''Me too.'' He said, putting the menu aside.

''Aren't we a great couple.'' She smiled and they shared a kiss over the table.

A kid was looking at her in the restaurant and she casted her eyes away, not sure why the kid was looking at her.

''Look mommy, that woman has very pretty hair. I want hair that long.'' She said then and her mother looked at her.

''Don't point at people.'' She said then and gave Burgess a smile.

''Sorry, she just loves your long hair.'' The woman said and Kim nodded. She looked down at the table, not sure if the kid had really just been pointing because of her hair or because of the scars and she made herself crazy by being so paranoid, thinking that everybody was only looking at her scars.

''It was a compliment, smile baby.'' Adam said then and she smiled at the mother and the girl as they were ready to eat. After eating, they went home and they walked together, laughing and chatting and she was finally really enjoying but when she got home and they got ready for bed as they were both so tired, she had to undress and she looked at the horrible scars on her shoulder. She had finally been happy for a little because she hadn't thought about the scars but now they were here again.

They would never go away.

Then she walked to the bathroom and started to clean the concealer that was still on her face. Adam came walking in behind her and frowned as she was removing the makeup.

''Why did you put so much make up on it?'' Ruzek asked as he was wondering why she did that.

''I thought you would like it more.'' She said then and he shook his head.

She bow her head and cleaned the rest of it on. She had thought she had done it right by letting it go so nobody could see it so well, so it would be a little more gone and she had thought Adam would like that more too. But now she had done it wrong and she had through that was only because she could never make then fully go away.

''I am sorry, I just…I don't want to have them.'' She said then and he laid his hand on her cheek.

''Don't worry.'' He just said, kissing her but then he walked out of the bathroom and she looked down again, wondering why he had walked out now. Maybe he was disgusted by them. She knew that she had to talk to him but she couldn't. still to scared about rejection from him.

Slowly she left the bathroom, walking in her underwear only and hoped that he was still awake, she wanted to hug him, kiss him, be intimate with him…maybe it would still be all right.

Walking in, he was already asleep and a little disappointed she sat down on the bed, laying down, but not being able to fall asleep.

Maybe Platt was right and she did have to talk to somebody.

Slowly she climbed out of bed again, not being able to sleep and walked into the bathroom. The red, still tender skin of the scars as even more red now she had robbed the makeup off and she felt so bad, not just because of the scars but because she was not able to talk to Ruzek, because she was so scared for rejection. She was so tired, too, as she was not able to sleep.

Her legs gave in and she sat on the floor again, sobbing loud as she was not able to stand any longer. She heard footsteps to the bathroom and Adam sat down beside her, pulled her in his arms.

She couldn't do anything, but just laid there and cry. He was whispering softly, caressing her through her hair, trying to soothe her but she kept crying.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Adam found her crying but will it be enough to finally get talking? Platt offered her a shoulder but will she take that shoulder to cry on, with Platt or with a professional? Can she finally open up to Ruzek about her doubts and finally come to terms with the scars?<p>

Next up: Kim is facing more problems with Roman and Antonio has arranged something for her!

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first two chapters. Wow, the response on the first chapter was so overwhelming I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	5. Chapter 5

**The previous chapter got way less response than the previous ones I hope you still like the story, although I get a little worried. I hope you will still enjoy the fifth chapter too and please do leave a review so I know what you think about it. Enjoy the read!**

**The next morning**

Kim woke up because the alarm was going up and surprised she looked as Adam was asleep against her, his head half on her chest and his mouth slightly open, snoring softly and she smiled, as he was sleeping so peacefully. Slowly she sat up and woke him up and she looked at him.

''Today is Saturday…and we have a day off…and you set the alarm.'' He mumbled then.

''I forgot about it.'' She said and he kissed her. They shared another kiss and he got up then.

''I think we should work out in the gym then as punishment for the alarm…together with me.''

''Sounds good.'' She said as she had been working out in a long time. ''I am just scared my arm is still too sore.''

''Well, we could try how it goes and you could always run or use the bike and I will lift.'' He said flexing his arms but pulled her closer then.

''But you are happy again now…what was wrong tonight, why where you crying?'' He asked concerned, he had been holding her all the time she had been crying until she had fallen asleep. He had put her back in bed then and had fallen asleep while holding her. He was glad she was cheered up now but she had been crying and he wanted to know why she had been crying.

''I had a nightmare... then I woke up and was scared.'' She said, looking at him, lying to his face and she felt so bad for lying because lying was so bad in a relationship, but she wanted to make sure to him that she was okay. Because she felt a lot better this morning and she was still afraid for rejection when she brought up the scars.

''If something was wrong, you would tell me, right?'' He asked concerned and she nodded.

''Of course.'' She said, kissing him. ''I will pack my back to go to the gym.''

''Don't worry, I am driving, so we can get changed here so we can shower at home again after sporting.'' He said then.

''Why not?''

''because I hate changing with all those man around me.''

She laughed; ''Why, insecure, Rambo?''

''No, I don't want to make the other men feel bad.'' He laughed then and Kim nodded. She didn't feel much for changing with all the other women around her. It would only make her feel more nervous. He got dressed quickly as she was reading some news on her phone.

''Get your sexy ass out of bed and go dress.'' He laughed then as he saw she was still in bed with her phone.

''Make me.'' She laughed, teasing him and she was glad she finally felt a little better. He ran to the bed, throwing the blankets of the bed and took her ankles and dragged her out of bed and kissed her. She laughed then and got up.

''Fine, fine.'' She laughed then and he walked out to make a small breakfast for in the car and she was busy with looking for her sport clothes in his closet.

Looking at the stash of the sport clothes she had kept here for when they would hit the gym together, she realized all of them were tanktops.

''Are you ready to go?'' Adam called them and she grabbed one of the tops and the pants, putting them on and running to the bathroom she looked in the mirror, all of the scars visible now and she looked for a vest in the closet, but none was found.

Suddenly Adam grabbed her around her waist and lifted her up and dragged her away.

''Adam, ADAM. I still need to put my hair in a ponytail!'' She laughed and he kissed her in her neck again.

''You got two minutes.'' He said then, letting go of her and she ran to the mirror, putting her hair in a ponytail and just had about enough time to do her hair before Adam stood behind her again and they walked to the car. She felt really uncomfortable because of the tanktop but didn't dare to tell him and he drove the gym. The parking lot was just a little away from the gym and they still had to walk five minutes. She grabbed his hand as they walked over the street, not so comfortable anymore now.

Walking on the street beside Adam, she felt really uncomfortable. She kept holding his hand as they were getting ready to hit the gym, but she felt so bad right now. She knew all her scars were there for everybody to see. Ruzek was right, it was really hot outside but she still felt bad.

Some teenagers sitting on a bench, drinking soda and listening to loud music looked and pointed at her then and laughed.

''What is on that arm, looks like the rocky mountains.'' One of them laughed and Adam wondered if he was stoned.

''Come on, let's keep walking.'' Adam whispered, kissing her on her cheek. She looked down at the street, knew they were just stupid teenagers laughing because they thought it was cool, but it hurt her, it hurt her really bad.

''It was just scars man, don't be an ass.'' Ruzek said angry as the teenagers were still laughing at her.

''It looks like a scary disease.'' One of them laughed as he threw his empty can on the floor.

''What did you just say?'' Adam yelled angry as he walked towards.

''That it looks like a scary disease.'' The teenager said, getting up. Adam picked up the can and walked towards him. The boys kept standing and he wanted to slap the boy in the face after saying this about his girlfriend.

''Throw this away and throw yourself away, you piece of trash.'' Adam said as he pushed the can against the boy's face and looked at his buddies.

''You think you are all kinds of tough for laughing at a police officer whom got shot down on the job? Whom got shot with a shotgun. You should learn something about some damn respect!'' He yelled angry. ''You think you are great for laughing at a few scars? You are sitting here, drinking mountain dew and eating Doritos and just laughing at an injured police officer. You need to get a life!'' Adam said angry and the boys just looked at him. He knew he had to stop before he would get even more angry.

Adam turned around, ready to walk on with Kim, angry for what just had happened and he hoped she did not feel bad and was looking where she had been standing, but she was gone now and he looked around, worried.

''Kim…KIM!''

The boys were laughing as he walked and ran around, panicking.

''Kim!'' He yelled, worried.

Maybe she was already at the gym. He ran to the gym, looked around for her there, but he could not find her and he grabbed his phone, dialing her number and put it against his ear.

''Come on Kim….please take your phone.'' He hissed.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Adam put her back in bed and she was still not honest to him about the reason why she was crying because she is still scared for rejection! They had a good morning but then some teenagers made fun of her in the street and Adam tried to protect her, but she is gone now. Where is she and can Adam find her in time?<p>

Still coming up: Kim is facing more problems with Roman and Antonio has arranged something for her!

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first four chapters. Wow, the response on the previous chapters was so overwhelming I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the fifth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. Enjoy the read!**

Kim looked at the water that was under her as she stood against the railing of the bridge. Her chin was on her arm and she looked as boats were sailing over the water.

Turning around then, she looked at all the people walking by. The couples passing by. The boys had their arms around the girls, holding them, protecting them and the pretty girls smiled back.

She knew she would never be that pretty again in Ruzek's arm.

''KIM!'' Adam yelled as he came home. He hoped that she was here, but she was nowhere to be found. He tried her phone again, but got no response, not even over the phone.

''Oh please Kim…please.'' He begged his phone but it changed to her voicemail again.

Worried he called Voight and Voight called Antonio, but Antonio did not know where she was either.

He had to find her!

Upset he got to his car again and drove around the streets that surrounded the gym and where she had been laughed at by the boys. He saw them and he felt the need to drive the car against the bench, so they would all fall off but he just kept on driving because finding Kim was more important. Driving for hours and hours he got disparate as he could not find her and he kept calling her but there was nothing.

It was already evening when he returned home, panicked because he could not find her. He had to find her! Even if he had to keep driving his whole life.

Then he called back Voight, hoping that he had hear anything on Kim.

''Still haven't heard anything?'' Voight asked worried. Then the door of his apartment opened and he could hear it was Kim by the footsteps.

''She is here.'' Ruzek said then and he hung up the phone.

''Ooh…ooh.'' Adam said with tears in his eyes as she came walking in, relieved and ran her way, pulled her in his arms. He almost started to sob, so relieved that she was found and kissed her all over her face.

''Why did you walk away…I was so scared…I didn't know where you were.'' He whispered then.

''I was just taking a walk. I am okay. Forgot my phone, it is on the charger there…on silence.'' She said, pointing at the phone on the charger in the living room and he sighed, almost angry.

''You are not okay. You walked away and you were gone for the whole day…I was so worried! I was scared you were going to do something stupid because you were so upset!'' He said, upset and crying and she was looking at him, trying to smile.

''I just took a walk.'' She said again.

''You were gone the whole day. I was so worried. Can you imagine that I was so worried. Why didn't you take off your phone and I know you are not okay.'' Adam said then and she shook her head.

''I am okay, Adam. I am.''

''You are not, you are not okay and you are not talking to me. Don't you love me that you can't talk to me?'' Adam asked, concerned and hurt.

''I can't do this anymore if you can't talk to me.'' He said then, looking at her with tears in his eyes and she just looked with him.

''Are you going to break up with me?'' She asked concerned.

''I don't want to break up with you. I just want to be okay with you again. I want you to talk with me so I know that you are okay, but you just don't talk to me and I feel like you are lying to me.''

''I don't want to hurt you.'' She said then, concerned. She wanted to talk about it to him.

''Then tell me what is wrong with you. Are we moving too fast? Is it the new job? Are the nightmares of getting shot….or is it me?'' He asked then.

''No…it is not you…it is just…I can't handle these changes very well. I love you so much.'' She said then and she felt bad because she still didn't dare to tell him the truth.

''Let's go to bed. Tomorrow is Sunday. We can talk about it tomorrow.'' He said then. He laid his arm around her as they walked to the bedroom and she thought about having to tell him what was happening in her head, how she hated her scars and herself for it and that she was worried that he would leave her because of it, eventually, when he would meet a prettier girl, that was better for him.

He fell asleep beside her, closing his weary eyes after the fear the whole day. She just sat on the edge of the bed after he fell asleep, not sure what to do. In the end, she would love him if she wasn't going to talk, but she was worried she would lose him too if she was going to talk. She didn't want to lose him!

Maybe if Roman had had her back, she wouldn't be shot. Slowly she walked to the living room and took her phone of the charger there and called Roman's number.

''Hey, can we talk tomorrow over lunch?'' She asked as he took of the phone. She was very upset with him, still and she waited nervous for his answer, as he was making unsure sounds on the phone, trying to think of a way to say no. At least, that was what it sounded like.

''Sean, come back to bed. We aren't done yet.'' She heard with a giggle and she recognized the voice. It was Jenn, they were back together.

''Roman don't you dare to hang up on me, you owe me this.'' Kim hissed but then he hung up the phone. Angry, Kim threw the phone aside. She had been thinking about jumping off that bridge….she had been so close but she loved him and she wanted to keep fighting for him. She wanted to be with him and be happy again because she knew she had to, she had him and she had the job she wanted, she needed to stay strong.

Trying not to think of her scars she looked in the mirror one more time, trying to tell herself she was beautiful, although it did not work.

Maybe she would feel better if she saw her friends again whom she knew from her work as a flight attendant. Maybe it would make her feel better and she wouldn't have to think of the scars so everything would be better with Adam as well, because she didn't want to lose him.

She laid down beside him in bed, kissing Adam on his cheek, laying close to him and hoping she could fall asleep, but the laughs and the jokes of the boys about her scars kept sounding in her head.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim has been on the bridge with very dark thoughts when she still decided to come home because she wants to keep strong for Adam. Adam was very upset though and still worried about her and thinks it is his fault she is unhappy. They are okay now and can they keep going like this? Kim is trying but can't work through it all and can't alk about it and she is slowly getting estranged from Adam and her new job.<p>

Still coming up: Kim is going to try to Roman again and things are getting out of hand and she is going to meet her flight attendant friends, but how will that go?

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first five chapters. Wow, the response on the chapters was so overwhelming I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the sixth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. Reviews have been getting less so I am scared you are enjoying is less so please tell me what is wrong. Enjoy the read!**

''I'll pick you up after dinner.''

''Oh no, don't worry, we got a designated driver. Brooke is driving and she will bring me home.'' Kim said then, kissing Ruzek and he nodded.

''Well, have a drinks, dance, enjoy.'' He said and she got out of the car and he looked as she walked in the dress that looked so pretty on her. She looked great, with her hair up in a bun and the dress with the matching jacket and looking as she walked inside, he drove away.

She walked inside the restaurant and saw the table that her friends were waiting at for her, smiling at her and she gave them all a hug.

''I feel bad to ask…but what happened to your face and neck?'' Brooke asked concerned.

''I got shot on the job. But I am back at work now. I am okay.'' She said then but June's mouth fell open.

''You got shot?''

''Yes, it is a long story. But I am okay, now.'' She said. ''But I remember Brooke tackling a guy in the airplane that got angry because I wouldn't give him another beer. So I guess we all do dangerous jobs.'' Kim laughed and they all laughed, thinking back.

''Where was that flight headed again?'' Brooke laughed.

''Seattle…Brooke tackled the man and Kim gave him a can of beer so he could hold it against his sore nose.'' June laughed loud and Kim was laughing so hard her tummy was hurting.

They ordered the food and had dinner, followed by some cocktails.

''Maybe we can dance.'' Kim said then, getting her jacket off so the strapless dress was even more visible now. Then she saw all the girls looking at her arm. They looked at the scar, with their eyes big and Kim tried to ignore it, picked up her cocktail.

''Dancing, there, on the dance floor.'' She smiled then. Brooke looked down at the table. Juliana looked at the scar and June opened her mouth then.

''I am very tired from flying.'' She explained.

''Where did you fly?'' Kim asked excited.

''I just flew back from New Orleans.'' June said, a little awkward as she didn't even dare to look at Kim.

''Oh…'' Kim just said. She didn't even know what to ask her friends anymore as they were all just looking at her in silence.

''Maybe we can go dancing later.'' Kim just said but she saw the girls looking at the scars on her arm and took the jacket she had been wearing under the dress. ''You know what, maybe no dancing.'' She said then, putting it on again. She felt bad now. She felt so bad because she thought they were her friends and the scars did not matter to them, but they didn't even dare to go dancing with her and it crushed all the hope she had had again and she was just sitting here again, drinking. Her friends were disgusted by the scars as well. Maybe it was just too much for them, because they were not used to her looking like this but it crushed her, that even her friends didn't look past the scars.

She was silent for most of the short time they still spend there, almost all of them happy to go home.

''I will drive you home.'' Brooke said and Kim shook her head.

''I will walk home.'' Kim just said, disappointed in her own friends and slowly she walked out of the restaurant. They had been so awkward to her, like they did not know how to talk to her. She tucked her hands in her pockets as it was cold on the streets and she looked at the cars passing by. Rain was pouring down now and she walked towards the bridge and stood against the railing again, looking as the rain was falling into the water. She felt as tears were streaming down and they fell down. They fell down into the water and she turned around, looking over the bridge. Cars were rushing by and some people were also walking past her.

Somebody suddenly touched her shoulder as she was crying against the railing.

''hey, are you okay?'' A young man asked concerned and she slapped her arm away.

''Don't touch me!'' She screamed as he was touching her shoulder. She turned her back at him and walked away, quick as she dried her tears. She knew she was close to Roman's name but she didn't dare to go there. She knew that nothing would help against the scars and she would only get angrier and more upset and slowly she walked home. She made a right turn and came to the other bridge she had to cross and leaned against the railing again, trying to calm down but she only got more panicked. If even her friends thought she was hideous with scars and didn't even want to go to the dance floor with her.

Sitting down on the cold concrete by the rail she sobbed and suddenly she heard somebody sit down beside her.

''You are not going to fool me by saying you are fine again. I don't believe that anymore.'' She suddenly heard and she looked up from her hands, looking at Adam sitting beside her.

''Brooke called me, that you didn't want to come home with her so I decided to walk to the restaurant, hoping to meet you in the middle.''

''I am so sorry.'' She just said and dried her tears as she looked at him.

''We are in the rain…come on, let's go home first.'' He said and he helped her up and together they walked home in the rain. Home she sank down on the couch and he came walking towards her with a towel and her dry pajama and she got changed.

''Is it me?'' He asked then, worried.

''No, it is not you. It is me.'' She said and she looked down. ''It are the scars, they bother me and I feel so ugly. Everybody just thinks I am ugly too and I can't imagine that you still think I am pretty and I am scared you will leave me.'' She said then and he sat down beside her.

''Do you think I would actually leave you for your scars?'' He asked then and she looked at him, sad.

''I don't know. I just guess I could imagine that you can get a prettier girl.'' She admitted, feeling really bad that she had to tell him. He didn't even seem mad, or like he was going to leave her, he just seemed extremely hurt.

''How can you think that? You are beautiful and I would never leave you.'' He said then. They just sat there in silence and she didn't know what to say.

''I am so sorry.'' She said then and looked at him.

''I am sorry too. I should have seen what was wrong. We can get through this…right?'' He asked then, taking her hand she nodded.

''Yes. I am sure we will.'' She said then and they kissed, holding each other.

''You are prettiest woman I know and you will always be, scars or no scars.'' He whispered then.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim went out with her friends she knew from her flight attendant job but the thing that was making her insecure so much that she had to cry on the way back because even her friends can't look past her scars and she was deep in despair but Adam came to pick her up outside and took her inside and they finally talked a little. Adam is hurt now too but promised they would get through this.<p>

Still coming up: Kim is going to try to get to Roman again and she and Adam are talking more and trying to keep going together. Also, she runs into some problems at her job.

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first six chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the Eight chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. I am scared you are enjoying is less as the story goes on so please tell me what you think. Enjoy the read!**

Adam walked through the hallway and thought about what Kim had all told him Saturday, he felt so bad because she felt ugly and he didn't want her to feel bad, because she wasn't ugly. The scars weren't pretty, but they didn't bother him and didn't think they made her any uglier.

Suddenly he saw Roman walking there and angry he walked towards Roman and before he could walk away, he grabbed the vest and made him stop.

''Listen buddy. Kim told me she wants to talk with you and that you keep refusing her. You owe it to her to talk to her. You should have had her back but you didn't.''

''Listen, buddy. I will talk to her when I am ready to talk to her.''

''She got shot, you didn't!'' Adam said angry. ''She is going to be scarred for the rest of her life. You did this, you were her partner, you should have had her back.''

''I was wrong. I admitted that before.''

''Man yourself up and talk to Kim, tell her that you were wrong. You might have told Voight but you did not tell Kim herself and she is the person you should tell you were wrong.'' He said and suddenly he felt Antonio pulling him away. Adam tried to get free from his grip but Antonio dragged him to an interrogation room like he had done with Kim before.

''What was what?''

''I am so angry with that guy. Not just because he didn't have Kim's back but he is the one that should at least apologize but instead he just keeps ignoring her. She is not okay Antonio and the person that should really care about her, her partner, is just not talking to her.'' Adam said angry.

''I get it, but yelling at him in the corridor is not a good fix.'' Antonio said. ''How is Kim not okay, is there something I can do to help you and Kim? She is my partner now and I won't let her down.''

''I know you won't let her down…but what is bothering her…she should tell you when she is ready for it. It is not to me to tell you that. As long as she does her job, at least.''

''She is doing great. I won't ask, but if you need anything, you know you can always come to me.'' Antonio said and he got up, slowly walking back to the office. Adam got up as well, let out a deep sigh and leaned against the table just a few more minutes before walking back to the office. He knew that he had to make everything right for Kim, but he didn't know how yet. He would have to figure it out, hoping it would be all right.

They had to get through this, their love had to be stronger than those stupid scars.

Kim was writing in the report, moving her hair behind his ear.

''There is something on your face.'' Halstead said and she frowned at him.

''No shit, Sherlock. Those are scars.'' She said almost angry.

''Oh no, I mean…there is ink on your face.'' He said and she looked down at her hands. They were full of ink and only now she saw that the pen was broken and she got up.

''Sorry.'' She said to Halstead. He just nodded and she walked to the bathroom to clean her hands and face.

Burgess was washing her hands in the sink, angry and she looked at the markings in her face and neck again. Adam knew what was wrong now, but that only made her more angry.

Kim was looking in the mirror, a tear streaming down her cheek again as she looked at the scars again and suddenly she felt two hands on her shoulders.

''Why are you crying?'' She heard concerned and looking, she saw it was Platt and she wiped the tears away, feeling stupid for crying again.

''it is nothing.''

''There is something, otherwise you wouldn't be crying.'' Platt said, looking at the girl, concerned. Even though she always had been teasing the girl, she did care about Burgess. Probably because she saw herself in in the girl, because they both wanted to be a police officer so bad and had pride in their job.

''I just feel so ugly.'' Kim whispered then, looking down to the ground.

''Don't you dare to ever say that again, young lady!'' Platt said then and she laid her hand under Burgess chin, lifted up her head and looked her right in the eyes.

''I wish that I was as beautiful as you. That I had ever been as beautiful as you. I don't get how you can say you are ugly.'' Platt said then and looked at the young girl. It hurt her that she was saying that she was ugly, because she was a strong woman, whom was far from ugly.

''Those scars are just scars… that is all they are. They are markings from something you survived and you are more than that.'' She said and Kim gave Platt a careful smile.

''You know where my desk is if you need anything. Please come by if you need to talk.'' Platt said and Burgess nodded, grateful.

Upstairs, Adam walked past Roman.

''I can't imagine how she can't get over it, she is alive, it are only scars.'' Roman said to the woman he was talking to.

Slowly Kim walked up the stairs again. Suddenly she heard loud yelling again and she ran, saw Adam pushing Roman against the wall and she ran his way, pulled Adam away.

''Adam, what are you doing!?'' She yelled and she pulled him back. Adam's elbow hit her in the face and she tumbled back as Adam pushed Roman to the floor and while she put her hand against his bleeding lip, she looked as Adam threw the first punch. She sat back against the wall, almost confused why what had just happened. Jay and Antonio came running towards the fighting men.

''You made her feel ugly and now I have to pick up the mess you made! I love her and you hurt her!'' Adam yelled.

''Ruzek let go!'' Jay said, holding his arm and he and Antonio tried to pull him off Roman before he could hit again.

''YOU SHOULD HAVE HAD HER BACK! YOU WERE HER PARTNER. SHE IS IN PAIN BECAUSE OF YOU! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU! I HATE YOU!'' Ruzek yelled at Roman as Jay and Antonio dragged him away. Kim just closed her eyes as somebody helped her up as well, wished it was all over.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Ruzek faced Roman at work because he is angry because he didn't have her back and he hurt his girl by not having her back. Antonio told him to back off and Kim got some comfort from Platt and got some help offered. Then it turned out Roman had said something about her to Jenn and Adam started a fight and Kim wanted to stop them but got a punch in the face instead and although the fight was stopped, what kind of consequences is it going to have?<p>

Still coming up: A rift forms between Adam and Kim after this incident and the incident causes a lot of trouble for them all.

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first seven chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the Ninth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. I am scared you are enjoying is less as the story goes on so please tell me what you think. Enjoy the read!**

''I am so sorry, I am so sorry. You can't even imagine how sorry I am.'' Adam said as he brought another cooling back to her and she held it against her lip again. When his elbow had hit him in the face, her lip has burst and she looked up.

''It is okay. Don't worry.'' She just said and he sat down beside her.

''Sucks to be suspended for a week.'' Adam said then and Kim looked at him and let go of a wry smile.

''At least you got to punch Sean Roman in the face.'' She said then and he smiled then as well, carefully .

''You should punch him in the face too, just not in a working environment.'' He said then. ''might make you feel better.''

She smiled again and looked down.

''Punching him won't make the scars go away.'' She said then and he laid his arm around her.

''I get that you want them to be gone…but why do you let them bother you so much? They don't bother me and they should bother you. It will make you feel better if you just let it go.'' He said.

''It is not that easy. I can't let it go because every time I look in the mirror, I see them being there again.'' She said and he shook his head.

''Why are they bothering you? Please tell me, I want to help you.'' He said then.

''You can't help me because you can't remove those scars and they will always remain there.'' She said then, tears in her eyes. She wanted to get up and walked away but Adam took her wrist.

''Is there anything I can do for you?'' He asked as he didn't know how he could make her feel better.

''No, you can't do anything, it is me.'' She said sad, crossing her arms and she hated herself more than ever, he was so sweet but she could just not get better with this. The scars kept bothering her with the thought that they would never go away and she would be stuck with them forever and that was what made her most upset.

Carefully she pressed the cooling pack against her lip again and walked to the bedroom, sat down on the bed, upset because she didn't even know what to tell him. Slowly he walked into the bedroom as well. Almost without any sound, he sat down beside her on the bed and he looked at her.

''Can I show you I still think you are pretty?'' He asked then and carefully she nodded and he moved closer, took the ice pack from her hand and carefully kissed her, his hand moving under her shirt and he wanted to pull it over her head, when the doorbell rang.

''Let's get to the door.'' He said then, realizing that they could continue later and slowly they walked to the door and opened it.

Sean Roman was looking at them from the hallway, with a black eye and holding a big bouquet of flowers.

''Kim, can I talk to you?'' He asked then, holding the flowers out to her and Adam backed off a little bit.

''I am sorry I hit you.'' He said then, looking at Roman's battered face.

''I deserved it.'' Roman said then and Kim stood in front of him. ''These are for you.'' He said, holding out the flowers and Kim didn't take them at first.

''Thank you for coming but are you here because you want to come or is it just because you think you should because of the fight for today?'' Kim asked then.

He was silent and Kim shrugged.

''If you are not here because you are actually sorry then I don't want to talk to you. You are just here because you got your ass suspended by Platt and she told you to come see me.'' She said and he shrugged.

''But I am really sorry, I didn't have your back while I should have.''

''Yeah, you should have had my back when I got shot but also after! And you didn't have my back either time. And now you are together again with Jenn, right?'' She said and he nodded.

''I wish you lots of luck with Jenn.'' She said then, still not smiling and he sighed.

''Did you forgive me?'' He asked then.

''I don't know if I ever will.'' Kim admitted then and she closed the door.

''Those were nice flowers.'' Adam said, dryly.

''But I don't want flowers if they don't have any meaning.'' She said and he hugged her.

''I think you handled it well.''

''Did I?'

'''Well, you didn't punch him in the face.'' He said and kissed her on her forehead and they walked back to the bedroom. They kissed again, continuing what they had started and Kim did not feel comfortable at all, although she tried to. She wanted to be okay with him. They shared another kiss and Ruzek carefully pulled the shirt over her head and kissed her, held her as he unhooked her bra and she kissed his neck as well, trying to feel more and more comfortable. She kept kissing him as he let her bra fell to the floor and his hand was on her breast now, really close to the scar. His hand traced down to her jeans and he felt the scar on her lower side, where the vest had not been to protect her anymore and there was another small scar and he bend down, kissed that small scar as well as she caressed his back. Her heart was racing because she didn't know how to feel about this and she wanted to let go of him.

Adam's hands caressed her upper body and stopped by the scar in her neck and he put a kiss on it and moved to the large patch of scar on her arm, not sure how she would feel about him kissing it but when he looked up, she was crying.

''I am sorry, I didn't want to hurt you.'' He said then and she shook her head.

''You didn't, I just don't feel ready.'' She said then, and he nodded. He wanted to be intimate with her but if she wasn't ready for it, he could wait. He didn't want her to feel bad again and instead they just laid down in bed and he put his arm around her. As long as he could still hold her, it would be okay. Hopefully.

He just wanted her to feel comfortable again.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Adam and Kim talked a little more and Adam wanted to show her that he still really loves her, scars or no scars but then Roman showed up with flowers and tried to make it up, but she realized that was only because Platt had told him to and said she isn't sure if she will ever forgive him. Ruzek tried to get to her again and although she tried, she couldn't feel comfortable but he promised to wait until she feels comfortable again and hoped that it would be soon.<p>

Still coming up: Ruzek 's suspension gives him some time to arrange something special for Kim and Kim runs into trouble on the job because of being shot.

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first eight chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	10. Chapter 10

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the tenth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. I am scared you are enjoying is less as the story goes on so please tell me what you think. Enjoy the read!**

Burgess walked over the office, walking to the copier to copy a file when she looked around. It was weird not having Adam around in the office, but he was still suspended for the fight.

''Burgess, are you ready to go?'' Antonio asked, walking past her.

''Where are we going?'' She frowned, turning around and he shrugged.

''I thought I would take you out to the shooting range, just wondering if you are good at shooting.'' He said and she nodded.

''Don't worry, I don't doubt you. But paperwork is getting boring, thought it would be nice to practice.'' He said and she smiled.

''It is, I will kick your butt at shooting, Dawson.'' She smirked then and he walked away.

She felt way better now, knew that Antonio was going to put her to the test but she was ready to prove herself to him, that she was worthy of being his partner. He was such a great detective and she wanted to show that she would be good enough as well. She knew she could do it, but she felt like she had to prove that to him. He had had so many good partners and she hoped that she would be a good partner for him as well.

''Come on, let's go.'' Antonio said then and she walked after him, downstairs and to his car and they drove to the shooting club they always practiced their shooting and the man of the shooting range already recognized Antonio and handed him the bullets, the ear protection, the goggles, the gun and the charts they could shoot at and Kim would the nerves going through her body, she knew this was the moment she had to prove herself.

She took the gun and got ready to shoot but when she shot, she suddenly got startled by the sound of the gun going off and she cringed.

This what it had sounded like when she had pushed that damn buzzer and that shotgun had shot her. She cringed again as she heard the sound again and she tried to hit her targets, but it was not working. She couldn't even shoot anymore as she laid the gun down, trying to ignore the sound and it was not working.

She had to prove herself, she felt like that, She wanted to prove herself but it was not working. She took the gun again, her hand shaking and she held up the pistol to the target again but it was not working.

Her hand was shaking really badly and it felt like the skin of the scar was even pulling tight under her shirt, it felt like her whole body was protesting for her to pull the trigger. She couldn't do it, she wished that the trigger of the shotgun that had been pointed at her had not pulled, but it had.

Antonio kept shooting and even the shots that he was firing started to frighten her now. It was like her heart was pounding in her throat and her knees started to give in in fear.

''Antonio stop.'' She cried then, sinking down on the floor and she sobbed. She had thought that she would enjoy the shooting but instead it only frightened her and reminded her of the shotgun that had gone off on the job and that had wounded her. Antonio shooting the gun only made her think of it all again and she felt stupid because she knew it was nothing and she wasn't getting shot, but the sounds just made her think of it and she was so scared again.

She hid her face in her hands and was sobbing.

It was all coming back, the pain and the shot and she wanted to forget but she couldn't. Even the stench that had been in the garden before she pushed that buzzer was in her nose again and it was so scary. All the memories came back, until she knew nothing anymore and then she had awoken only to find out she was full of scars of now.

''Kim, I am here. Talk to me.'' She heard Antonio say, softly and she felt his hand on her wrists and slowly he took her hands away and looked at her.

''What is wrong?''

She just kept on crying and somebody working at the shooting range walked their way.

''What happened.''

''None of your business.'' Antonio said then and the man of the range walked away again as Antonio moved to Kim again.

''Kim, please talk to me.''

She kept on sobbing and he sat down on the ground beside her and laid his arm around her.

''I am your partner now, you can talk to me but if you don't want to talk to me I will bring you home and you can talk to Adam.''

The word partner made her cringe for a second but she looked at him then.

''Will you always have my back as my partner?'' She said then and he nodded.

''Yes, I promise I will always have you back.'' He said then. ''I won't let you get hurt on the job. We are partners and we protect each other, right?'' He said as he comforted her and tried dry her tears with his sleeve, a little awkward.

''Thank you Antonio.'' She said then with a small smile. She felt like she could really trust him.

''The shots, it startled me, it made me think of being shot and I hated that. It made me feel like I Was being shot again and the memories became so vivid. I am so sorry for breaking down.'' She said and he shook his head.

''You don't have to apologize to me, it is okay. Please don't apologize to me, you will get through this and if you need anybody to talk to, I am your partner now and I will be here for you to listen and comfort you and help you when I can, I promise.''

''Thank you.'' She said and he smiled.

''Good.'' Now let's grab some coffee and go back to the district and see if we can ditch some of that paperwork with Platt.'' Antonio smirked and Kim nodded with a laugh.

''That sounds like an idea.'' She said then, happy for the new partner she had. She was sure that Antonio would never turn her back at her. They would be good partners.

''Come partner.'' Antonio said as he walked back out to the car, held out his fist.

She touched it and he made an explosion sound and Kim just laughed, glad she had such a great partner now.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim and Antonio were working on paperwork, not really happy with that work so Antonio decided to take her out to the shooting range to practice some shooting but after shooting a little, she got too scared and all of the memories of getting shot came back and Antonio promised he would never turn his back on her and that they would be good partners, which gave Kim a lot of hope for the work to come.<p>

Still coming up: Ruzek 's suspension gives him some time to arrange something special for Kim and how will Kim react to the surprise that he is arranging to her? More Bruzek coming up next chapter.

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first nine chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	11. Chapter 11

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the eleventh chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. This one is a more nicer chapter but there are big things coming up with big consequences as well. Enjoy the read!**

''Come on, we are going to Molly's.'' Adam said and she shook her head. He came up with this idea out of nowhere and it ahd surprised her.

''I am so tired.'' She sighed then. After spending the day with Antonio at the shooting range she was so tired now, worn out because it had hurt her so much to be shooting again.

''Oh no, you are coming with me. It is important.'' He said and finally she nodded.

''Okay, but one drink, now more than 1.'' She said and he started to laugh.

''What, what do you know that I don't.'' She said and she crawled his way on the couch, tickling him in his sides. She felt something was up and she had to know what.

''Nothing, nothing mommy, I will only have one beer, I promise mommy.'' He said then, almost begging her to stop and she let go of him now, smiling.

''I am going to get ready then.'' She said, kissing him before crawling off her and walking to the bedroom. She was not sure if she should tell him about what had happened today at the shooting range, didn't want to worry him, because she was okay now and Antonio had helped her.

She got dressed and did her make-up and hair done and got ready to leave then.

''Looking good enough for your one beer?'' She smiled and he nodded.

''you know you always look flawless.'' He said and they went to Molly's.

Adam opened the door of the pub and she walked in, laid her hand in front of her mouth. Everybody was standing there, looking at her and she saw the big sign that said ''Welcome to intelligence Kim'' and she smiled, so honored they had done this for her and she was so surprised.

Antonio came walking her way and pulled her inside.

''Come on Partner, don't stay in the front door, come in.''

''Did you arrange this?'' She asked him, surprised and Antonio shook his head.

''No, your sweet boyfriend did.'' Antonio said and he walked back to the bar. Kim turned to Adam.

''Can I have more than one beer now?'' He Asked and she nodded, kissed him, so grateful for the party he had arranged for her.

''You can have as much as you want.'' She smiled and Antonio came walking their way, red wine for Kim and a beer for Adam and handed it to them.

''Enjoy your party.'' He said then and Kim looked at Adam again.

''You shouldn't have done this. '' She smiled and he laid his arm around her.

''Everything for my girl.'' He smiled and kissed her on her forehead as they walked to all the people chatting with each other, enjoying the party.

Suddenly she saw Sean Roman and Jenn sitting by the table by the window.

''Did you invite him?'' She asked confused.

''No, the whole district was invited, I thought he had the decency not to show up.'' Adam said, shaking his head. Kim just shrugged and Platt came walking her way.

''Here, I got a small something for you.'' She said and she handed Kim a small present and surprised, she took it.

''Are you giving out presents to all your officers?'' Kim asked, one eyebrow up.

''oh no, just the ones I like.'' Platt said with a smile and walked away again and Kim unwrapped the gift, saw a small necklace with a spall tag on it, that said ''power''.

Adam put it around her neck and she smiled at Platt, nodding to thank her. She had a few drinks, talking with the co-workers and she looked around then, finally enjoying.

She tried not to think about the scars and it finally worked, as she felt so happy now.

The firefighters of 51 were also here and she recognized a few of them, especially the guy that Platt was dating as he had been waiting on the hallway for her while she had been in the hospital.

Ruzek was drinking with Halstead and Antonio and the man behind the bar kept giving them shots, which they drank. They kept on drinking and when Ruzek got up, he almost fell and Kim ordered one more glass of wine, enjoying seeing him so drunk a little bit. Halstead was asleep with his head on the bar and the man behind it was just cleaning it around his head. Antonio was leaning against Laura now and trying to kiss her, but she backed off every time and she smiled. She had had a great party but luckily all of them had.

''Come on, let's go home.'' Kim smiled and she called a cab. The cab arrived a little later and Adam was leaning against her, jabbering and talking drunk and she helped him sit down in the cab and told him to shut up, before the driver would get annoyed by him and he just laid against her now, smiling. Then they got out.

''Can I talk again?'' He laughed.

''Yes, you can.'' She smirked as they were outside then.

''The one beer….was really good…'' Adam talked drunk and Kim just smirked as she dragged him with her to his apartment.

''We should do naughty stuff.'' He laughed then, ready to get his pants off.

''Oh yeah, I will come in a bit.'' She smirked and he laid down on the bed, slowly and trying to undress himself and almost falling off the bed. Laughing she walked to the bathroom, brushing her teeth and getting her make-up off. A few minutes later, she walked back to the bedroom, Adam asleep on the bed, his jeans on his ankles, his shirt on but asleep and she kneeled down, got his shoes off and his jeans and his shirt. Adam was half mumbling something in his sleep and Kim laid him under the blanket. She smiled again as he was so knocked out and laid down against him.

She was almost asleep when he suddenly turned.

''Kim…I think I got to puke!'' He said then and he rolled out of bed, crawling to the bathroom and she walked after him. A little awkward she caressed his back as he was throwing up and he looked up then.

''Only one beer next time.'' He panted then.

''Sounds like a plan.'' She smirked, helping him up and they walked back to bed, holding each other as they fell asleep. She felt so good she fell asleep in once this time, feeling safe and sound.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim got talked into going to Molly's by Adam, not knowing he had arranged a party for her there for moving to intelligence and she enjoyed it so much but so did the guys with all their liquor. They are going to have a hangover tomorrow! Kim helped Adam to bed pretty well and fell asleep with him.<p>

Still coming up: A case in intelligence gets completely out of hand while Antonio and Kim are fighting to get it right and it has very big consequences, including another shooting!

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first ten chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the eleventh chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. This one is a more nicer chapter but there are big things coming up with big consequences as well. Enjoy the read!**

**Four days later**

''These people trying to smuggle cocaine into Chicago again and they are treating the life of those who have to smuggle the stuff for them. We finally got their address.''

''Time to bring them in'' Jay said, biting his pen as Voight put the pictures on the board.

''Right.'' Voight said.

''We got the address from an informant that had to smuggle for them, but they are supposed to get together for them, means that we have to get them today, to wipe the group away at once.'' Voight said and they all nodded.

''We are getting some more information on them during the day, we roll out around five, because that is when they are supposed to be there. '' Voight said and they all nodded.

Kim was reading information on the drug team by her desk most of the day, waiting for them to roll out. She was nervous for what was going to come but she felt ready. She was going to arrest somebody and she felt so ready for them. She wanted to arrest them. It would be her first bust in intelligence. She couldn't mess it up, but she felt like she wasn't going to. She was going to do it right and show that she was worthy of intelligence. Antonio was her partner now. She was sure nothing would be wrong.

''Come on, let me do it.'' Ruzek said then and he took her hair, tied it together in a neat ponytail and got the bullet free vest then, put it on her and as nobody was around, gave her a quick kiss in her neck and made it sure it was all right.

''Are you nervous?'' He asked a little concerned but she shook her head.

''Not Really, more like looking forward.'' She said and smiled at him. He nodded.

''Be careful.'' He said then.''

''I will. You be careful too.'' She said then and they shared a quick kiss before she walked back to Antonio and they got ready to leave. He handed her a gun.

''Are you sure you are ready. You might have to shoot. I will protect you…but if you are not ready…you could help with the next arrest.''

''Oh no, I am ready. I want to. I have wanted this job all along and now I finally can.'' She smiled and he nodded.

''You will do great. We are going to make the streets a little saver.'' Antonio said then and they walked to the car. In the car, she was nervous as they drove the address where the drug dealers were staying and she couldn't wait to start and arrest the man, especially because of the lives of people that had to smuggle the drugs for them.

Antonio stopped the car and they walked to the door, holding the guns up and ready to go. The others arrived as well and Voight said it was ready to go.

They ran into the building. Kim held up the gun, frightened and then nerves were rushing through her body and she kept looking at Antonio, followed him. Antonio waiting by a door, held up his hand then and he kicked the door open, holding his gun inside then.

''CPD, DROP YOUR WEAPONS!''

Halstead and Ruzek were right after them and helped then, as they ran in. All the men in the room dropped their guns and held up their hands. Kim grabbed on by the shoulder, pushed him on the ground and handcuffed him, feeling proud. For the first time she had arrested somebody and she felt proud of arresting somebody. She had arrested somebody through intelligence for the first time and she did feel really proud right now. Antonio smiled at her because she had done it right and she had seemed so fearless. With two of the man in the back of their car, the others divided over the other cars. They drove back to the district, where the man got handed over soon after and brought away.

''Great work.'' Voight said then as they walked back to the office

They got the vests off and Ruzek smiled at her. He was proud of her, she had done so well and she hadn't been scared anymore and as always he knew that she could everything, but she had shown it so well today. She was a great new addition to intelligence and their unit only got stronger like this, although they really missed Erin too.

''Come on, this was a big bust. Let's go out for food.'' Voight said then and they nodded as they were all starving.

Voight took them all the restaurant and they got seated by a big table upstairs. Voight had been there many times before and they had ate here with the unit more often after late work. The second floor only had one big table and they could sit there with all of them.

''How was the first big arrest for you?'' Voight asked Kim then and she smiled.

''It was pretty awesome.'' She said then, blushing a little, not sure what to answer. Sure, it had been awesome but maybe it was not the right word. But it had been. It had been big, it had all she had ever dreamed off at the job.

''You did very well.'' Antonio said then and they all ordered their meal, Antonio getting his usual extra-large steak with extra fries and Kim shook her head.

''I have been here before, there is no way you are going to finish this.'' Kim said then, shaking her head.

''No way, I can finish it.'' Antonio said then and she looked at Adam, shaking her head with a laugh as she didn't believe Antonio was going to finish the giant plate.

''Yes he will finish it. I saw It happen before.'' Adam smirked then.

Footsteps came running up the stairs. Voight turned around, only caught a glimpse of the men standing there, with a gun and looking at the intelligence unit that was standing there.

Kim looked at them, gasping.

She raised her hands, so did Voight and they just looked, in silence.

''Gentlemen, what can we help you with?'' Voight said then, calm. The man kept standing there with the guns and it was completely silent.

Suddenly, shots rang out. Kim got pushed to the ground, Ruzek pulled her with him to the floor, laying over her, protective, rolling under the table.

Kim listened as the footsteps approach, a fierce pain in her body and blood slowly spreading in the carpet around them.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim got on her first bust for intelligence. They arrested the group and she promised Ruzek to be careful and she was, so proud of the first bust and they went out for dinner to celebrate the bust, all together. Antonio was bragging about his eating skills but then some uninvited guests showed up, emptying their guns. Are they okay and who shot their gun at them?<p>

Still coming up: What happens after the shooting? Who is shot and are they going to be okay and who is responsible for the shooting?

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first ten chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the Thirteenth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. This one is maybe confusing chapter but there are big things coming up with big consequences as well. Enjoy the read! A whole new storyline is here for you!**

**_Kim tried to get up, glass over her and she looked around. There was blood everywhere and she crawled around over the carpet, that was flooded with shattered glass. Some of the glass cut in her hands but it didn't even matter to her. All she wanted was to find Ruzek and make sure that he was okay, but there nothing to be found. Antonio was looking at her, dead eyes and she felt like she was going to cry. The she finally found Ruzek. He was on his back and turned her around and turned him on his back. His eyes were looking at her but saw nothing and she cried, screamed. Any sound she could make, scared because she knew he was dead. _**

Adam grabbed her hand as she was sitting up on the hospital bed, terrified. She was screaming when she suddenly realized that somebody was holding her, that Adam was holding her and she was not dead.

Opening her eyes she saw she was in a hospital room, looking like the one she had been caught before, she had been in for a few days after she was shot by the shotgun. It all seemed so close again now that she seemed to be shot again and she looked at him, holding her hand, IV in the others and she looked at him, confused She just wanted it all to be gone again because nothing seemed to work in her brain. It confused her and made her so scared. She closed her eyes again. Maybe the visions of being shot would be gone then and she could finally sleep then again.

**_She just cried, running out of the restaurant, blood on her body and she crawled up then, got up and ran onto the street. It was strange because there were no other people around her, only mist and silence. She was running over the street and over the bridge and as the water so calm, she looked at the water, so scared because the water was showing her reflection and it looked like the scars were mo visible like ever, like they were glowing and showing for the world to see and she couldn't handle it. She leaned against the railing and slowly climbed on the railing then and before she could think about it, she dropped forward, into the cold water. _**

**_Through the water she could see the light of the buildings by the water side but she didn't want to get out of the water again. She felt how water started to fill her lungs but she stayed under the water, ready to drown, to make this pain and misery end when she suddenly heard Adam's voice. Her feet were on the bottom of the river and she set off again, slowly coming above the water again, grasping for air as she spit the water out again, climbing onto the shore and suddenly she was back on the bridge. She ran over the street then, her feet dragging as she looked for their apartment in the dark, it looked like all the buildings around her were from glass and she looked in them, at the reflection she did not like because she felt so ugly. She felt so imperfect and suddenly she saw the other side on her other arm that had not been there before. She kept on running then because she had to find Adam and finally she found their apartment and she ran inside, up the stairs to the bedroom and found Adam in bed, on top of somebody else. _**

**_Adam was in bed with another woman. He didn't like her anymore, he was not with her anymore and he didn't love her anymore. _**

**_''_****_What are you doing?'' She cried and he just looked at her, calmly._**

**_''_****_You got shot again….I can't love you anymore.'' He said then. _**

Kim woke up then, crying and before she could sit up, somebody pushed her down and held her, held her by her middle and her left hand and by her right arm.

''Hey, hey, I got you. You will be okay.'' Adam tried to comforted her then, holding her hand, the hand that had a few little scars on them from the first time she was shot. The other arm was in a thick layer of bandage now, where the bullet had gone into her arm.

''I got shot again?'' She cried then, scared.

''Yes, you got shot in the arm. But you will be okay. The doctors are sure that the damage is not lasting. You will be okay. You will all be okay. Voight got shot as well, but only in the shoulder. He is at home now and the woman that is with Justin is taking care of him now. I also got discharged and you will soon as well.'' Adam said then. ''They haven't arrested the gunmen yet but they are tra-'

''You got shot?'' She asked concerned and he nodded as he got shot while pulling her to the floor. She had already been shot In the arm by then and he felt so bad that she got shot again. It was her good arm this time but it was just sad that she had to get shot again.

''I got shot in the leg, while I pulled your down. Nothing really bad, it just got bandaged and I got some crutches And I will be okay in a while. Jay and Antonio took cover and they overpowered the shooters then. They called multiple ambulances then and they helped Voight, me and you to get here and get patched up. You will be okay.'' Adam said then and she started to cry, looking at the arm that was not scared, but under a big layer of bandage now as well.

There would be more scars then and although it didn't hurt as much, she was concerned she would have scars there as well. She closed her eyes again, thinking about the job that she was shot now again.

''I can never work in intelligence again. I never want to work in the police ever again.'' She sobbed then and Adam held her hand.

''You can come back. I am sure. Power, remember, it is on your necklace.'' He smiled then, holding her hand.

''I am so scared. I can't do it anymore.'' She said then, slowly starting to cry, more broken than ever. She was shot again, the nightmares had returned and she was full of more scars again. There was no away Adam would ever love hre again. There was no way she would ever get over this, there was no way she ever wanted to return to the job again.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim had a nightmare and she woke up a little, but not enough to talk to Adam after which she had a very scary dream again about her scars and about Adam no longer loving her and she tried to drown, but since it was only a dream she had to wake up and as she woke up in the hospital, she found out she really was shot again and Ruzek as well and she is more broken than ever now.<p>

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first twelve chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! I hope you don't dislike the new storyline. Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	14. Chapter 14

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the twelfth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. This one is maybe confusing chapter but there are big things coming up with big consequences as well. Enjoy the read! A whole new storyline is here for you!**

**_Kim woke up, looking around her, the bedroom empty and she got up out of bed, looking around if she saw Adam anywhere. _**

**_''_****_Adam!?'' She yelled and she climbed out of bed, walking through the house. Passing a mirror, she looked at her reflection, at the scars in her face and even worse, she saw the scar on her other arm as well now, that as new now because of the recent shooting. Her lip started to shake but then she walked away. She walked outside, the city dark and clouds rolling over and she passed the bridge as she just kept on walking._**

**_ It was like the water was calling for her again, to jump in, to drown in the water again. _**

**_But instead she kept walking this time and it started to rain now. Suddenly she was in the district and as the rain was falling down, she climbed up the stairs to intelligence and looked around there, when she suddenly saw it. All her co-workers, all her friends, were on the floor in pools of their own blood and she sank down on the ground, crying and sobbing. Adam was the closest by her and his dead eyes looked at her. Her chest tightened and she felt like she was going to die. _**

She sat up in bed, shocked again and listened to the rain slamming against the window and the thunder roaring and she rubbed over her arm in the sling as it still hurt pretty bad. Adam was gone beside her and she figured he was watching TV in the living room. It was scary, waking up alone after this dream she had just had. She climbed out of bed and walked to the living room.

Adam was on the couch, his leg up and she walked past him and sat down on the couch.

''how is your arm?'' He asked concerned and she smiled a little bit.

''It doesn't hurt that much anymore…how is your leg?'' She asked concerned and he shrugged.

''Okay, I guess.'' He said then and spread out his arm and carefully she laid down against him. It was strange, both being at home, none of them at work. They were still under supervision by the car outside as not all the shooters were arrested yet. Kim tried to get a more comfortable position with her arm, that was still in a sling and bandages and looked at him.

''We are quite the couple right now.'' He said then, with her arm and his leg.

'I am so sorry you got shot while pulling me down.'' She said then.

''don't be sorry. I am glad I pulled you down. I am sorry you got shot again.'' He said, caressing her over her chest and kissed her.

''I still have to tell Voight that I am not coming back to work.'' She whispered then.

'''Kim, don't say that, you will still come back to work, I am sure.'' He said then.

''I don't want to come back to work.'' She said then. He caressed over her back.

''Give it some time, you are still shaken from the shooting, just let it go.'' He said then and she dozed off a little bi ton his chest.

''I am going to try to cook.'' He said but she shook her head.

''I think we have a reason to order lunch. You shouldn't get up on that leg. I am not going to make lunch either with this arm. We can just get lunch by delivery.'' She said and he smiled as she was ordering lunch for them,

''And I would like to get sandwiches with salmon…and with tuna…and with cheese and tomato.'' She said.

''Oh, you are hungry.''

''Í guessed you are, because I ordered most of it for you.'' She said. The food was delivered a little later and she got up, walked to the door and took the bags, having a hard time with taking all the lunch with only one hand but she managed.

''If you are caring for me. I wish to be shot ore often, nurse Kim.'' He said as she handed him a big plate full of sandwiches for lunch and she looked strained then.

''Getting shot is not a nice thing.'' She said, angry and strained and almost angry.

''It was a joke.'' He said concerned, afraid she was mad because of the joke but they had lunch then, in silence.

After spending the afternoon watching movie son the couch she helped him get up and walked to the bathroom with him because he had promised to change her bandages.

''how romantic, checking each other's bullets wounds.'' He smirked and she put a new plaster over the wound on his leg.

''You are all fine.'' He said then and he nodded, leaning on his crutches and kissing her.

''I know, now, your turn.'' He said.

In the bathroom, he carefully rolled the bandage off her arm and got the patch of the wound. There was a scar and the bullet wound was red, but it was healing.

''It is so ugly.'' She said then.

''Just one more scar.''

''Right, because there are more there to bother you.''

''They don't bother me, you know that.'' Adam said, cupping her face in his hands and she pushed him away with her free hand.

''They should bother you, they are hideous and I got show again. I am never going to work again because it will make me more uglier and I don't want to lose any more….you must think I am ugly by now.'' She said, looking down at the other scar.

''You are not ugly. I will keep repeating that, buy you don't want to hear it because I told you so many times.'' He said then and she held him as they walked back to the bedroom but looked at him then.

''Adam, I really don't feel good. I dont know if I will ever feel good again.'' She said then. ''I don't know what to do.'' She cried then and he pulled her on the bed, beside him, carefully because he didn't wan to injure either of them and held her close.

''We will figure it out, you will be okay. we will both be okay.'' He whispered then, letting her cry in his arms, hoping the crying would make her feel a little better.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Kim had a nightmare and she woke up angsty and scared and laid down with Adam on the couch as they are both not returning to work yet and there is still patrol outside of the apartment so she ordered lunch and after lunch they watched movies and Kim had to check his wound after which he checked hers and replaced the bandage but while he doesn't mind the new scar, she completely broke down. Will she and Adam get through this as well or is it all getting to much on the couple by now?<p>

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first twelve chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! I hope you don't dislike the new storyline. Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy the twelfth chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. This one is maybe a bit repetitive, I am not sure but I am really looking forward to know what you think about it so please tell me. **

''I am going to work.'' Adam said as he was getting really bored. His leg was getting better slowly and the police protection was gone now, because Voight was sure they were safe.

''I am not going back.'' She said then and he shook his head.

''You can come back with me, together, today if you feel good enough. It will be fine.''

''I don't want to. Why can't you just respect me!'' She asked angry and almost scared that he would really want her to come with him.

''I don't know what to do with you anymore! I know something is wrong and you won't talk again and I don't know how to help you Kim, if you don't talk to me. Please talk to me.''

''There is nothing.'' She said and upset he turned around.

''if you can't even talk to me, how can we be in a relationship?'' He asked then and she looked down at the floor.

''You can't be in a relationship with me. I knew it.'' She said then, angry.

''I can't be together with someone who hides things from me. Who can't even talk with me about what is wrong.'' He said and he took his crutches.

''Are you leaving me?'' She asked scared, insecure.

''I am going to work.''

''Do you want to leave because of the scars?'' She asked scared.

''No,but maybe you should talk about these things. You might not feel so insecure about it.'' He said angry and she just turned around.

''just go to work.'' She said then, walking back to the kitchen and she looked out of the window as he was getting a taxi to go to the office.

Adam struggled to get up the stairs to the office because of the crutches but he was going crazy with just sitting at work.

He started his PC and opened his email when Antonio leaned against his desk.

''Kim not coming?''

''No.'' Adam said, upset, almost angry.

''Is she cleared for work?''

''No. She doesn't want to either, I think.'' He said, tapping on the keys a little harder because he was angry.

''So..she doesn't want to come back?'' Antonio frowned.

''I don't know, she doesn't talk to me!'' Adam said angry.

''Who, stay calm.'' Antonio said then.

''You are the one that is bugging me! I am here as a police officer, not the boyfriend of your partner. I am your co-worker! Not the person that will inform you about every whereabout of Kim and you know why? Because she won't talk to me!'' Adam said angry, jumping up, pressing his hand against his leg as his stitches hurt pretty bed then and he looked up, Voight looking at him.

''Go home.''

''I can work.'' Adam said angry.

''Go home!'' Voight said angry and Adam grabbed his crutches. Upset, he left, struggling on the stairs again and Platt got up to help him.

''I am fine.'' He said then and Platt nodded.

''How is Kim doing?''

''How about everybody asking that question to her, not to me.'' He said and he got outside, calling a cab. He was so angry he was send home and even more angry that everybody was bothering him with Kim. He loved her but right now, he had gone to work to avoid having to think about their fight but at work it just got pushed back in his face.

He got home and looked around, looking for Kim. He still needed to know that she was okay, because he still really did care about her. He always would and he hoped that they could figure this fight out as well.

''Kim…I am home. Maybe we can talk.'' He said then but she wasn't around.

He couldn't imagine she went to the shop but maybe she was there and he waited a few minutes but really wanted to know where she was then and took his phone, called her.

She took of the phone immediately and he heard her sobbing on the other end of the phone.

''I am so sorry for not talking to you. I am so sorry. I feel so stupid and worthless. I can imagine that you want another girl than me.'' Kim said then, standing on the bridge again, she looked down at the water again. She didn't know why she was here again, but it calmed her, somehow.

''I don't want any other girl like you and I am sorry for what I said….you are not ugly, you are the prettiest girl I know and I am lucky to have you, you know that.

''I can't do it anymore Adam…I just can't.'' She cried and she stood against the railing.

''Kim, please.''

''I can't.'' She cried then.

''I feel so ugly…and worthless.'' She said then, looking down at the water.

''You are not ugly and you are not worthless. I love you so much Kim…please tell me where you are. '' He said then but she hung up the phone, looked at the water. Tears streamed down her cheeks because she felt like she had really messed It up with Kim now and this was going to be okay.

Adam left the house, hoping he would find her where he had found her before and he almost ran towards the bridge, where he had found her before and although his leg was still so sore, But he wouldn't stop until he had found her. He had to find her, only then it would be okay again.

Suddenly he saw her standing there by the bridge. She was standing against the rail, crying and he was scared she was going to jump.

Adam grabbed her tight, holding her while he pulled her back from the railing, falling to the ground then, as his leg started to bleed, but he didn't even mind, he just held her, pressed her head against his chest.

''II love you, no matter what. You know that, you can't leave me, I love you too much. Please don't leave me.'' He cried. ''I try to do everything to make you feel well. Please…please…tell me what bothers you. I want to help you. Please Kim…I love you.'' He cried, scared he was going to lose her. She cried as well, laying against his chest, knew she was stupid for thinking that she was worthless and he didn't want her anymore.

''I love you too…and I am sorry….I want you to help me.'' She cried then.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Adam went back to work because he was bored of not working and the danger seems to be gone and it ended in a fight between Kim and Adam and he went to work angry, only to get more angry when everybody kept bothering him about her and he got send home because he was so angry and then Kim was gone and she had gone to the bridge again because she was so sad about the fight and feeling bad again but he found her in time again and held her and she finally admitted that she wants his help.<p>

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the first twelve chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! I hope you don't dislike the new storyline. Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for your reviews on the previous chapter. I hope you will enjoy this chapter too and please do leave a review again so I know what you think about it. I am scared you are enjoying is less as the story goes on so please tell me what you think. Enjoy the read!**

**Two days later**

Ruzek walked through the office, pressing his hand against his leg as the wound was sore again after he had ripped the stitches out but they were back in and he hoped that the pain would go away soon.

He smiled at Kim as she was behind the desk, luckily feeling better as her arm had recovered and she felt better after the breakdown although she felt a little bit guilty that he had pulled the stitches while he was running towards her. That she was back on full duty again while he wasn't, but he hoped he would be back soon.

''Antonio can you walk with me for a second? I need some help with getting something by the photocopier.'' Adam lied and Antonio walked after him.

''Your limp is really bad.'' Antonio said a bit fearful as Adam has so much trouble walking it seemed.

''Will be fine…just I am not sure about Kim.'' Adam said then and they walked into the room where the old photocopier was that they barely used.

''You know what the problem is, she feels so unsure about herself because of the scars and because of what happened. She had a big breakdown again two days ago and I need you to know, because you are her partner and you might be able to help her.'' Adam said when suddenly the door opened.

''So I'm waiting for that CI to come in….'' Ruzek said, pretending to scan a paper as he expected it was Burgess to walk in.

''What CI?'' Jay asked as he looked at Antonio and Adam and Antonio pushed him out, closing the door.

''don't worry, I will keep an eye on her on calls because I don't want her to feel bad, she is a great cop and she doesn't deserve to feel bad because of a few scars.'' Antonio said and Ruzek nodded.

''Thank you.'' He said and he laid his hand on Antonio's shoulder and walked out again.

Kim looked up by the desk, wondering what they had been doing but she didn't want to ask either.

Ever since Adam had found had her on that bridge he had told her to look for help but she was sure she was going to figure it out and she had a feeling like she had to get through, because this was the job she always wanted and she even got to work together with Adam. After she had seen him crying with her because he had been so hurt because she was so hurt, she knew that she had to try to get better, try to feel better and be happy with him again because she loved him, she really did love him and he did so much for her. She wished she got better so everything would be better, the job and her relationship with Adam. They hardly had been really intimate since she was shot and she wished they would do it again and determined she promised herself that they would be intimate again tonight.

She smiled at him as he limped by and remembered the hectic night they had spent in the hospital when his stitches had to replaced and although it hadn't been the most romantic setting, their kiss had been real and she realized that she still had him, after all that had happened.

''Come on Kim, we are grabbing lunch for the whole office.'' Antonio said then and he walked after him to the car.

In the car, Kim looked at Antonio.

''Adam told you, right? He told you that I didn't feel well.'' She said then.

''Yes. He did and you know why he did that? Because he was so worried about you. That is why he told me and I am glad he did. When you don't feel up for something, just tell me.'' Antonio said and she nodded.

''I just want to get better and keep working so I can get back in things.'' Kim said and Antonio nodded.

''Who else knows?''

''Nobody, just me and Adam. Jay walked in but he didn't hear anything, we just threw him out of the cabinet.'' Antonio said and Kim smirked for a minute.

''Thank you Antonio, you are a great partner.'' She smiled as they drove back to the station.

After dinner time, they arrived home and she wanted to sit down on couch when Adam suddenly grabbed her and pulled her closer and laid his hands on her chest and played with her breasts as he kissed her in her neck.

''I love you so much.'' He whispered then and pulled her hand as they walked to the bedroom and he pulled her on the bed, on top of him and pulled her shirt over her head, the scars on her arm and shoulder not bothering him for a tiny bit. She felt insecure first but let it go then.

She pulled his pants down and saw the rough scar of where he was shot, stitches not as neat as before as it were the second the set of stitches as the first had ripped.

''See, now I have a big ugly scar as well.'' Adam said then and she caressed over the rough wound.

''It is not ugly.''

''Neither are yours.'' He said and he kissed her and wiped the single tear that was coming from her eyes and his hands caressed her shoulder then. They shared another kiss and Kim felt a little unsure as he was touching the scars, but it also felt like tiw as fine and she gave in to his hands. He kept caressing her and she was enjoying it. She kissed him in his face an realized that she shouldn't think about her scars right now but about the love that they were sharing. How much they loved each other. How much they would always keep loving each other, no matter what.

He caressed through her hair and kept holding her. They rolled over so he was on top now and slowly and tender they made love, finally finding love in each other again and honestly she hoped that that was all she needed.

* * *

><p>NOTE: Adam and Kim returned to work again and Adam told Antonio, her partner, what was going on and Antonio promised to help as much as he could. Antonio promised to Kim as well and she just wants to return to her old life and made out with Adam as she got home and really enjoyed loving him again, and also that Adam still loves her no matter what.<p>

Still coming up: Kim tries her best to be good at work but she and Adam are so passionate that Voight finds them making out. What will happen then.

Thank you so much from reading this chapter and I am glad you kept reading after the previous chapters. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint you! Please tell me what you thought and if you have critique over the storyline, feel free to tell me! Response keeps me motivated to write, thank you!


End file.
